Date and Non-date Foods

by Emily Grace

As I was sitting at my computer working this morning and a friend sent me a link to an article and it got me thinking.  The article was about “date foods” and “non-date foods.”  With Valentine’s Day rapidly approaching, I’m assuming this article was meant to give those who actually go on romantic dinner dates a simple reminder of the impression that a food choice could make on a first date.

We typically think of “non-dating foods” as things like garlic and/or fast food for obvious reasons (though I guess I’m an exception because if the fast food is Taco Bell, I have found my soul mate).  Many times girls will order a salad at dinner for the appearance of being dainty and not a downright pig (I fail again), and this can be seen both positively or negatively by their date.  Is eating off your date’s plate acceptable?  Don’t order a salad if you’re going to eat all of his french fries.  I know I’m way protective of my french fries, and that would be an automatic turn-off.

Anyway, the article goes on to list several food tips to manage positive dating impressions.  I think it is totally gag-worthy, but I need second, third, etc. opinions because apparently I’m a bad dater by these standards.  Please see my side notes indicated by the *** next to a tip.

“And so, whether you are newly smitten, not yet “official” or working to keep love alive, you will want to follow these food tips to manage your positive impressions!

10 Tips for Eating on a Date

To create a good impression, refrain from foods that:

•    Drip, splash or leave a mess (e.g. spaghetti with sauce, over-filled tacos, soup, ribs, wings, lobster in the shell, and Popsicles in the wind)
***Love spaghetti. Taco Bell tacos are underfilled so am I in the clear? I thought soup was classy!
•    Make your mouth open really wide (e.g. Big Macs, deli sandwiches and sushi)
***So hamburgers are a no?
•    Stick in your teeth (e.g. corn on the cob, spinach, poppy seeds, and Turkish taffy)
•    Contain a part that requires discrete removal (e.g. olives with pits, fish with bones and fruit with seeds)
•    Are smelly going in or coming out  (e.g. raw onion, garlic, stinky fish and cheese, cruciferous vegetables and beans)
***I gather that I can’t eat Italian food or Chinese food from this.
•    Make you seem boring (e.g. vanilla ice cream, white bread, mushy peas, and salad without dressing)
***Being a picky eater makes you automatically unattractive.
•    Make you seem childish (e.g. chicken fingers, mac and cheese, using ketchup on everything, and separating the onions)
***I’ve come to realize that I will never be able to go on a date where food is involved. Chicken fingers, mac and cheese, ketchup, no onions, that’s my life. Is there a problem with ranch dressing?
•    Make you look unhealthy (e.g. fast food, big pieces of cheesecake, 20-ounce sodas, and Mudslides)
***But I AM unhealthy!
•    Most people think are weird (e.g. frogs legs, steak tartar, blood sausage and Spam)
•    Are so-called aphrodisiacs – without your full consent (e.g. raw oysters, dark chocolate, strawberries and bananas)
•    Make you forget you manners when you spill, spit, spray or otherwise eat with your mouth open; slurp, burp, belch or hiccup; turn your napkin into a bib or wipe your mouth on your sleeve or the tablecloth.

But apart from that, all other foods are fine.  Have a great date!”

So, all I’ve learned from this is that I have no reason to ever go on a date where eating is involved.  I need to find a man who has tastes as immature as mine.  Just because I went on a date to Taco Bell last year for Valentine’s Day doesn’t mean that we didn’t follow proper etiquette and table manners.  Our table was set, napkins in our laps, and we kept it classy.  Do not judge!  When I find someone who will accept my love for chicken fingers and ranch dressing and doesn’t care if I want my date to be at Taco Bell, I will know that I found true love!

Valentine's Day 2009 at Taco Bell with Maclean McAlister

What are your thoughts?

What are your Dating and Non-Dating Foods?  Have you had a bad experience eating with a date?

Enjoy your Valentine’s Day, and I hope you and your date stuff your face with all the glorious “non-date foods” that you can get your hands on!

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One Comment to “Date and Non-date Foods”

  1. I love the picture! I found true love despite my inappropriate eating habits.

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